Funny Things Kids Say In School

How often have we, as parents, sent out kids off to school wondering what in the world they are saying and doing out there. We see them at home. We see them when they are sweet, thoughtful, kind, considerate, hardworking, faithful, joyful, living the christian life we have taught them to live . . . they are ours and they are perfect, right?

Well . . . we also see them when they are not so perfect. We seen them when they are acting out, being a "smart mouth", unkind, inconsiderate, lazy, ungrateful . . . the list goes on and on. But they are kids and . . . kids are kids. . . we love them anyway. We correct them, discipline them, and do our best to raise them up right.

We expect them to display the character we have worked so hard to instill in them when they are away from us. Do they? Usually they do, but then there are times when I wonder.

For example, I taught preschool and Kindergarten for several years and I remember the things my "little darlings" would say to me during the day. They told me things that would make their parents turn one hundred shades of red and then it hit me . . . oh no! What in the world are my kids telling their teachers about me, our home, our lives?

Then I decided, oh well. What can I do about it now? Their teachers probably enjoyed their comments as much as I enjoyed hearing humorous comments from my students.

I had a preschooler once tell me that every day when his dad walks in the door, he calls his mama "hot pants".

I recall a little blonde. He was as cute as a button. He came in every morning the same way. He would round the corner, his hair waving in various directions, and with a smile on his face would start the day with, "Hey, Mrs. Truelove. Know what?" Then I would listen. . . smile; then, when he wasn't looking, refuse to contain my laughter any longer.

One day, I heard, "Hey, Mrs. Truelove. Know what?" I replied, "No, sweetheart, what?" Then he said, "Well, I had to sleep with my momma last night cause all the dirty clothes were piled on my bed."

Another day, "Hey, Mrs. Truelove. Know what?" I replied, "No, sweetheart, what?" Then he said, "I wouldn't go to sleep last night so my daddy put beer in my water." Just so you are wondering. . . I did report that one to the school counselor.

Then, here is my favorite from him, "Hey, Mrs. Truelove. Know what?" I replied as usual, "No, sweetheart, what?" Then he said it, "My mama don't like you. She thinks your mean! But, I like you ok."

I suppose every teacher in every grade level has plenty of stories to tell about the kids they have taught and the things they have said at school.

I managed to come across a few so now I'll share them with you.

Teacher:: John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.

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Teacher: Now, Macy, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Macy: No Mam, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.

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My first graders were playing a tag game called "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs". Each child was given a dwarf name. When called they were to run across the tag area. After a while I said, "All the dwarfs may go." One girl leans to her friend and asks, "All the dorks may go?"

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Mom teaching her 3 year old his ABCs:

Mom: Apple starts with . . .

Son: A

Mom: Boy starts with . . .

Son: B

Mom: Car starts with . . .

Son: Duh, mom, a key.

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I was teaching first grade remedial reading and we were reading a book about a dog. The dog went to the vet, and during the picture walk we discussed what happens at the vet. One little girl said, "We took my dog to the vet once. She got neutered." Now, I'm thinking I'm going to have to explain to the rest of the group what neutered was. No, she continued with her story. "It means she can't have puppies. We got my mom neutered too." It took everything I had not to laugh out loud. Be careful what you tell your kids at home, because they tell us everything!

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And here is my personal favorite:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to continue for the next 10 minutes.